Sketches and Eyeglasses

I don’t know what specific event or thought made me remember the visits I had with my classmates to the museums in Manila some ten years ago. The point is, I remember those visits.

I majored in Visual Arts at Philippine High School for the Arts; and going to the museums and seeing the works of visual artists were a meaningful and relevant integration. We were groomed to become artists. We at least should know those who set the foundations and standards in Philippine visual arts.

We went to at least five museums; the more popular ones were the Meralco Theatre and the National Museum. Those two housed the known works of Juan Luna, Felix Resureccion Hidalgo, Fernando Amorsolo, etc. I claim to be a fan of Hidalgo because he isn’t as popular as Luna. I sort of have something against popular and commercial people.

I was amazed when I saw the Spolarium. It welcomed us as we entered the National Museum. I read and heard a lot about it but never thought it was very big until I saw it. I asked my fellow students how it was transported from Europe and how it entered the Museum. They didn't know and I don't think they cared. It sure would not fit in the entrance door. Did it enter through the ceiling? But it couldn’t even be carried in a helicopter. I got the answer some years later. Apparently, that very big painting was divided into smaller squares of canvas. But when I looked at it, I never noticed the divisions. I don’t know how they put the canvas together or how Juan Luna drew such a huge painting. It must have taken years! Still, it did not make me a fan of Juan Luna. I heard a story about him shooting his wife and in-law. I'm not really sure if the story is true or not.

Seeing the great artists' works was supposed to motivate us. I don't think it had such effect on me. At the time, I knew already that I wouldn't be able to paint anything near or comparable to the "Spolarium." But I agree that those artists are simply amazing. They put their minds, hearts, bodies and souls to their craft; and their efforts surely paid off.

What amazed me most were not the popular works in the big museums but the less popular and the unrecognized ones in the smaller museums. Framed and hanging on the walls were the sketches made by recognized artists. Pencils were used in many of the works. Others were simply drafts and outlines. Yet they were framed. And they looked really good. It was obvious that true artists' hands drew those. And while the huge paintings did not motivate me, I was greatly inspired by the etchings. Perhaps I knew that I was capable only of those.

At the young age of 12, I imagined my sketches framed and hanging on museums. It kept me drawing for a year. I loved drawing with pencils and I was so bad with the paint brush. That I accepted.

Another meaningful event in my short-lived pursuit to become an artist was a visit to the house of Jose Rizal in Calamba, Laguna. The house is considered a museum and it was well-preserved. The rooms still had the things of our national hero and his family. At the back was the garden and a play house where the young Jose Rizal and his siblings played in.

As much as I appreciated the trip and seeing the house, these did not change what strong negative opinion I had (and still have) for the man. I didn’t like Rizal even then because he was heavily motivated by fame and honor. I read stories of him, when he was as young as 5 years old, where he predicted that he will one day become famous. When teased by his sisters, he told them that he may be small but will one day be a big name in the history of his country. Of course, this may not be entirely true and may only be a product of Zaide’s or some other author’s exaggeration. They thought that this is a plus factor to our national hero. But if we look deeper, it would show that Rizal already exhibited worldly motivations even at such an early age. Oh no, many Rizalians would probably get mad if they read this.

Many of Jose Rizal's things were placed on glass cases. Included there were two or three pairs of his old and worn out eyeglasses. I was already wearing glasses then. And they were worn out, too!! And I thought, "When I grow up, my glasses will be put on glass cases like this one inside a museum." I was no different from Rizal. At an age a little older than he was when he predicted his fame, I had the same worldly motivations - to become great and known, that even my eyeglasses would be showcased.

I wanted the same things which made me dislike our national hero. But the need to be famous did not last long. I don't really know which came first - knowing that such motivation is not too value-oriented or the realization that I did not have the talent to become great. Anyway, if my glasses will one day be worthy to be placed in a museum, I don't think the viewers would appreciate what they'd see. I got the worst glasses anyone could set eyes on. No, I don't think I'd be proud to showcase them. Viewers would probably say, "Geez, can eyeglasses get this bad? This great owner must be one very irresponsible person." It's a good thing then that I will not be the next Jose Rizal or Juan Luna.

Note: This post is sort of a joke... This is not a product of a thinking mind and this is very much unedited. I typed this during a short break... Might erase this later.