Barbie, My Barbie

This was written by my sister when she was in high school; released nine (9) years ago in Reveille, the official student publication of Lagao National High School.


A perfect combination?

We were mirror images of exact opposites - my sister Barbie and I. We don't look alike and yet, we are not so different.

Do you ever wonder how she ever got nicknamed Barbie when her real name's Zea? Simply because our parents thought that I would love her more if she will be called my favorite toy, which happened to be my Barbie doll. Yes, my Barbie.... But who could they fool? Obviously, not me!!! I don't know, but at my first glance of her in my mother's arms, a strong feeling of indifference creeped into my whole being until I decided to despise her.

My early life with Barbie had not been good, for she dislikes me as much as I dislike her. We hated each other. She is someone who wouldn't get anyone get away from a wrong doing without paying back. What would you call us - a perfect combination?! Maybe, for we always end up wringing each other's necks.

But living with my sister isn't always the pit. Having only two years of age gap, we enjoy sharing each other's secrets and talking about our experiences especially about boys and crushes. We would then find ourselves making the other jealous and turn green with envy. But I guess she always wins. At grade six, she already got a love letter from a boy she really likes. That made me really envious of her. I was already fourteen then but for an unknown reason, I couldn't even make my crush look at me. But it was the special sisterly bond we started to share that made everything sweeter and extra-special than anything else.

Although I could say that through the years, we finally accepted each other's existence, I still couldn't help but hope for a little space between us. There were still times when I would want to choke her in her sleep and wish I had the power to make her vanish into thin air.

And.... after years of longing, waiting, hoping.... the day finally came that she has to go. Bringing her suitcase with her, she bade us goodbye to study in Laguna, up the magnificent beauty of Makiling and become one of the country's scholars in the field of visual arts. I couldn't deny how proud I had been of that achievement she had. But what truly made me jubilant were the words I long have wanted to hear from her - 'Goodbye......'

These leave-taking words seemed music to my ears. There could be nothing more I could wish for at the moment. 'Ah....' was all I said. A sigh of relief!

I was ready to shout then. Perhaps I had shattered the whole world into pieces with my shout if I hadn't controlled my ever-growing emotions. At last I would be free - with no more sister to pester me. See, free even rhymes with me; so does sister with pester. A thought of how would it be like to keep the room to myself like I had always wanted since I was just a kid; and won't have anyone to share things with all flashed in my mind. Ah... perhaps it would be truly different, but wonderful.

When we sent her off the port, nothing seemed to have changed between us. We just said casual goodbyes. No more. No less.

But when I went inside the house, I sensed that something is missing. I realized that my sister was gone and suddenly, I felt very lonely. An overwhelming sadness filled me.

After a month, when I heard her voice in the telephone saying, 'I love you Ate, and I miss you a lot...' I couldn't help but shed a tear. It was the first time I heard that from her, I guess. It's funny to think how distance could make the difference. But thinking about anything now, I would rather have her back by my side.

There were so many things I wanted to tell her. Oh, how I wish I could talk to her for as long as I want. But she is far away now, in the opposite pole where I stand.

While watching the setting sun fade in the west, tears fell from my eyes while I reminisced the bittersweet memories we shared through those short years together. Oh, how I miss her so! I miss Barbie, not because her name was of my favorite toy, but because she is my sister, my own flesh and blood. I thought I hated her all those years, but... the truth I guess is that I've always loved her, though I may not have realized it. It is indeed true that it is only when a person is away that you will realize how much she means in your life.

Ah... Barbie, you're really my Barbie, my life...


I did not stay far away for long. She welcomed me back into her arms (with not much choice) after a year's stint at Makiling. I was not meant to become an artist......... Haha. It was a struggle for us, once again.